your guide to JUNE summer fare, by pen

What to Watch:
1. Gossip Girl reruns on the CW, clearly.*
2. Season 3 of WEEDS, Netflixed. Or if you are luckier than me and have Showtime, Season 4.
3. Top Chef, although that's almost over. P.S. LISA CANNOT WIN. Do I have your agreement?
4. Legally Blonde the Musical: The Search for Elle Woods. Yes, mendacious, really. It's kind of... not that bad. It sort of fills the ANTM void, in a way.

Possibly, if there's time in between eating fresh salsa and popsicles and watermelon:
1. Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. It's better than Kathie Lee Gifford: I'm on the Today Show Now But My Skin Is Still Orange.
2. Swingers... I don't know. If you must. If you're braver than me. Let me know how it is, though.
3. My Boys? Again, let me know. I'm too disillusioned to try.
4. The Mole. I don't really know what to say about The Mole. Maybe? Nah, forget it.
5. Hopkins: But let's be honest, it's not going to fill the Grey's Anatomy void, so why bother.
6. Fear Itself. I can't bash this one, because it actually looks pretty good--if you like horror. Which I do not. But if you do, by all means watch it, and I promise not to mock you.
7. The Bachelorette? Anyone? Anyone?

When to Read a Book Instead:

1. America's Got Talent. Run away, run away from the television.

2. Nashville Star. Sorry, I just can't.

3. Celebrity Circus, hosted by Joey Fatone. Make it stop. Please. Make it stop.

4. I Survived a Japanese Game Show. Can it get any worse?

5. Wipeout, which is described as a "cross between MXC, Fear Factor, and America's Funniest Home Videos." Yes, yes it can get worse. But surely that's as bad as it gets?

6. The Scoop, or "The Singing Bee meets The Office," hosted by Joey Fatone. And for this, I have no words.

*A note about GG: they are not acutally showing reruns in order. It's quite vexing. Should I save the episodes and watch them in order later, in a GG marathon, or just watch them as is with the disappointment of spoilers. I know not.

Poster Child for Travelers

That's what the nurse said!
And I'm glad. Cuz hello it makes me cooler.

I feel slightly ashamed of my neurotic listmaking nature that if feels good to be validated in this instance. That as early as last June I knew what vaccinations I needed and just for curiosities sake, ahem, made regular visits to the cdc website and read all about the importance of childhood vaccinations and read about why there's a yellow fever vac shortage. Which just led me down a rabbit trail of possible apocalyptic scenarios and the importance of drug manufacturing companies and the relevance of movies like outbreak, 12 monkeys, 28days later, resident evil and sahara. And further reflected on how I could be so unwittingly naive as to get absolutely no shots when I went to Turkey in '04. Though sometimes I do enjoy a good gamble. Anyway it pays to be prepared! And it's one thing off my 'to do' list.

Anyway to the day I'm 6months out from my trip, which is apparently the absolutely latest I can go if I want the full round of shots. SO on the deadline, I made my merry way to the cheapest vaccination center in southern California...(previously extensively researched since they give it to you for cost) even computing the $25 I spent in gas getting down there was still not a significant loss in terms of savings. However I had not calculated that for full HepA/B immunity 3 visits would be required- which still a bargain cuz it's like "for life" sort of... but that's another $60 in office fees and another $50 in gas... sigh. Still. So far that's $97 for the (hepA/B, Typhoid (lasts 5 years), Office Visit) and $25 in gas = $122. Still to come $37 at a pasadena facility for Malaria pills since freakishly all my visits must be timed exactly and do not coincide on a Thursday when the doctor is in. . . $12 gas... bringing my total to = $280 some dollars for a couple preventative measures, lifelong immunity and gas... lame. I really had only calculated for expending $100. But I guess I'll get the malaria pills... I should right? Alright whatever.

So in order to determine risks, preventative measures-- quite a bit goes into the research of what you can get where, and why. Apparently spreading diseases to different countries is a fairly serious matter. Whatevs. And all of this builds to an unrealistic and paranoid measure of precaution and secret dread that you're going to come down with malaria after you get back and your travel insurance lapses. But then you read about things like love in the time of "cholera" or typhoid mary and old yeller' and you think hmm, maybe there's a point to all of this... and a thanking your lucky stars we have vaccinations for some very debilitating things.
Maybe... eh, I don't know. I'm hungry.

All of this to say I was a bit nervous carrying my oraldose of Typhoid pills because they contained the "active virus" and that I only had an hour or two before the pills deactivated and were rendered useless because they needed to be refrigerated... uh huh. Ok. Thank god there wasn't that much traffic!

Off to eat. Blog later. Pills tonight. If you're bored, read on...



So if you're still with me, read on about what my possible "can gets" are:

These shots are recommended:

Hepatitis A – is contracted via contaminated food and water. This vaccine is NOT needed it you have had the disease or have received two doses of the vaccine AT LEAST six months apart. (Two doses are good for 10-20 years). If you have only received ONE dose it is good for 1 year.

Hepatitis B – is recommended if you might be exposed to blood or body fluids; for example, health care workers, have sexual contact with the local population, stay longer than six months in the region, or be exposed through medical treatment.

MMR (Mumps, Measles, Rubella) – To be considered adequately immune for travel to the above countries you should have had at least two (2) doses of MMR in your life. MMR is NOT needed if you have had the diseases or have had a blood test (titer) that proves immunity. If you were born before 1957 you probably had the diseases as the vaccine was not out yet. However, if you did not contract the disease you would still need to consider getting MMR.

Malaria – There is risk of Malaria in a majority of the above countries. If you are unaware of your risk, you can check the CDC web site (www.cdc.gov) or come in and check with our staff. We have the CDC Health Information for International Travel Manual where the risk of malaria can be looked up by individual countries. This is also on the web site.

Rabies – Is recommended if you might be exposed to wild or domestic animals through your work or recreation. Travelers with extensive unprotected outdoor, evening, and nighttime exposure in rural areas, such as might be experienced while bicycling, camping, or engaging in certain occupational activities might be at high risk even if the trip is brief.

Td – (Tetanus/Diphtheria) Routine booster doses of Td is recommended every 10 years.

Typhoid – is contracted via contaminated food and water. This vaccine is recommended if you will be spending time in small cities, villages and rural areas (particularly developing regions) for an extended period of time. The longer you spend time in regions with questionable sanitation of food and water the higher your risk is for contracting typhoid fever. We have the injection or oral typhoid vaccine. Both are only about 60% effective so food and water precautions must still be practiced. The injection is good for two years and the oral vaccine is good for five years.

Yellow Fever – A certificate of Yellow Fever vaccination may be required for entry into certain countries if you are coming from South America or sub-Saharan Africa. Please refer to the CDC web site (www.cdc.gov) if you are traveling to one or more countries that may require the Yellow Fever vaccine.

To the Day, by M

A year to the day I promised to make Penelope some shirts I finally did. Wow. It's a testament to the staying power of a list sometimes or my mind not to forget it. And to Penelope's patience level. I will have to post the pictures later however because I don't want to spoil the surprise. I only hope they fit, and she likes the colors... and then we can about how awesome they are... and some tricks and tips I leared about the world of iron-on prints.

Liquor think Quicker, by M

Yesterday I got totally sauced at the launch party-2 drinks (on the office dime!) and enough non-drinkers handing out tickets because they're silly and not charging. Sweet. I headed to the bar down the street called "the bridge" around 4 and I was one of the first ones there. Waited patiently to start drinking until enough people got there. I started bold with a scotch, straight up and had an instant urge to hug everyone in the bar, especially the fungus loving frat boy, and the golf guy bob, and chat up the 2 business types that happened to be in the bar right before our party filled the place up. They sat there unassuming with beer.

I followed the Scotch with a Capecod (vodka/cranberry) then as the party went on I ate some Mexican food and was going to call the drinking quits but after I made sure the business guys had plates of food for themselves they made it their personal mission to buy me a drink, even though I protested that I had another drink ticket tucked in my bra and it wasn't necessary. Obviously I couldn't say no. As refusing makes me seem anti-fun. Clearly I am pro-fun. So I got some more Scotch (on the rocks) and saluted the boys and said thank you.

Then I went to the couch which was an apparent mistake because when I went to get up my balance and coordination was completely gone. I got a couple high-5's from another set of boys as I tottered back down. Made it up eventually for water and if there had been a dance floor i might have been oozing cozily all over it. Some more time passed and another guy who was having fun at 6+ beers in, wanted me to keep drinking so that I would cause a scene, strip and dance on the table tops... I thought this is entirely incongruous to my "type" but I appreciated the gesture and pondered that saying it to me was less like sexual harassment then if he'd said it to someone else. Maybe not?

By the time most of the people were gone I was still feeling... liquidy, talked a little too much to this girl about how little I had to do sometimes... and when she asked if I wanted a ride to my car I declined because I needed to see how unsober i really was. I managed to walk unaided up the block and dunked my hands in an alluring fountain and decided that my inability to refuse the fountain was a clear indication, that and I hiccuped scotch.

Thankfully someone left our office opened and I camped out with a couple redvelvet cupcakes and a handful of almonds... some movie watching, unsober emailing/calling and a few episodes of news radio later and i was ready to wend my way home. Around 9. An in/out burger later and I was home and wondering where I'd been. Work I knew was going to seem a much duller place on Monday.

Miscellany, by M

This is a "I've been trapped in a camera phone and almost forgotten" picture day. The first picture is from my video shoot for french 2 where I play ed an entertainment reporter who had been attacked by rioting dwarves on my way to the station. I got to say, "j'ai cru que j'allais mourir." I got to use my ole' theatre training and I did my own makeup... the camera work was a little substandard but then we skimped on lighting , the set and location so... what would you expect really.- a 7 hour shoot and only us who thought it was funny. Yes.Here is my spring garden. I've been employed for most of it, sigh. The sunflowers are getting as high as the elephants eye and it's all lush and full and beautiful.
This has to be the best birthday sundae ever. Thanks Ms. Parker!
Ah, synchronicity! And why Lolly was just the rightest car that ever was.
An awesome girl at work clearly awesome because she made the show these cupcakes for our premiere! Red velvet... and the safari creatures got their own little brownsugar sand bed. I chose the walrus. and as Mike said, koo koo kachoo.

Oh Ok, by M

I have things to complain about like how writers group sucks ass or how irritating it is to see the boss talk about the new mercedes and box seats at the laker game when i'm thinking what i can sell on amazon or if blood donations are worth it, but right now i will answer these tagged questions.

Maybe I should – stop eating breakfast at McDonalds. Damn those McMuffins.

I love the smell of – citrus blossoms.

People would say that I - am a listmaker.

I don’t understand why – money doesn't grow on trees.

When I wake up in the morning – i say, good morning Marley. Hello Zeppelin, aw look there's Animal. Today I also said, "Oatmeal"...

I lost my willpower to – budget.

Life is – not my burden, but clearly mine to maintain.

My past made me – who I am.

I get annoyed when I – am not understood and or neglected.

Parties are not a good time to – sleep.

Dogs are – awesome and taught me to be a more patient and gentle person.

Cats are – awesome and taught me to be attentive and watchful.

Tomorrow is – fucking friday ya'all. and the premiere party for our new AP show.

I have low tolerance for – stupidity, doomsdayers, naysayers and sentimentality.

I’m totally terrified of - being eaten by a shark, having to fend off a mountain lion or being buried alive.

I wonder why I thought my life would be – debt-free.

I always knew I would – achieve great things, and be awesome.

Never in my life have I – not believed in God.

High school was – an interesting time where I began to locate exactly who i was in the world.

When I’m nervous - I talk fast and possibly get a little ancy and dangerously klutzy.

One time at a family gathering – I felt hope, but it was quickly dashed in favor of disgust and divorce.

Take my advice – do not wait for time or money. They're assholes who are always late, too quick, not enough and though precious, highly mailable and chatty.

Making my bed - um, I usually don't. Unless throwing the covers over the sheet so the cat doesn't get fur on my pillows counts.

I'm almost always – on time, right, analytically minded, and possibly looking for a way to escape.

I’m addicted to – friends, sunflower seeds and looking at my monthly calendar.

I want someone to – find me, oh and also give me money.

Weird Facts Wednesday

Well, I was surprised to learn that lions only live on average of 8-10 years in the wild. In captivity they can live over 20. But they're not endangered perse the way that tigers are- which coincidentally are the largest cat in the kingdom.

My cat Marley is tucked on the corner of my couchchair with me waiting for the lights to get dark, arm outstretched. He has just sighed and slumped his head down.

My cat Animal going on her 15th year at least is curled up on my bed. She will not be pleased when I go to get in it. There must have been some narrow squishing kicking incidents as I am a tosser/turner... Marley has learned better and curls up on the edge of the bed so he can spring at any moment or claw me in the face (gently) when he wants me to get up.

you're it! by pen

TAG, I'm IT! courtesy of Andria. I do like games.

Maybe I should – plant those tomatoes in the garden.

I love the smell of – my babies after a bath, clean laundry, and that brown sugar and fig lotion from B&BW.

People would say that I - am too quiet. Or that I shouldn't talk as much, depending on my mood.

I don’t understand why – Aliens in America was cancelled..

When I wake up in the morning – I inwardly groan. But then feel better after some iced coffee.

I lost my willpower to – work out for the rest of 2008. And possibly 2009.

Life is – flying by in seconds, vexingly.

My past made me – stronger, hopefully a little wiser.

I get annoyed when I – drop something on my foot or walk into a wall.

Parties are not a good time to – talk politics.

Dogs are – charming, loyal pals.

Cats are – cute but make me wheeze.

Tomorrow is – Thursday, at the park. Will it be a scorcher?

I have low tolerance for – whining.

I’m totally terrified of - losing my kids or husband.

I wonder why I thought my life would be – purple? I don't know how to answer this one, either.

I always knew I would – eat chocolate at least once a day.

Never in my life have I – won a big contest.

High school was – several penelopes ago.

When I’m nervous - my stomach churns, I become mute.

One time at a family gathering – I came down with the Death Sick and possibly initiated its spread to the state of Connecticut.

Take my advice – don't take any wooden nickels.

Making my bed - is a non-negotiable part of the day.

I'm almost always – organized? except when i have children to tend to.

I’m addicted to – chocolate, iced coffee, caramel bars, and the office.

I want someone to – send me a big bag of money.

M, you are TAGGED. xo, pen

the dentist, by pen

Reasons Why I Loathe Going to the Dentist:
1. Because it's the dentist.
2. Because it costs money, and I don't like spending money that doesn't yield something edible, or wearable and cute, or actually useful in some other way--I mean outside of having clean "healthy" teeth. Plus, you just never know what hidden surprises they're going to have for you as far as coming back and having more work done.
3. The noises. The high-pitched whirrings and scrapings that make my fingernails itch.
4. The picking. It HURTS, man. Even if your hygenist is careful.
5. The latex gloves. Half a day later and I can still smell it in the air, and on my hands, and taste it on my lips. Makes me queasy.

Reasons Why I Don't Mind Going to My Dentist as Much:
1. The waiting room. You'd think that this would be on the former list, but as a girl who rarely gets any time all to herself anymore, the waiting room is kind of nice. Today, I finished my book.
2. My dentist has decent reading materials on the waiting room coffee table, including the ever intriguing 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die.
3. The hygenists are super-nice and efficient, keeping your hellish session as brief as possible. And today mine recommended a mouthwash with flouride and bacteria fighters. And then she told me where to buy it on sale.
4. My dentist is um, easy on the eyes. Let's just say. And he is first dentist in seven years to suggest clipping off the bent arm of the bridge I busted with an Easter Egg Everlasting Gobstopper one day back when I lived in Chi-town. It's not really bothersome, but then again it kind of is. I always thought I'd just have to wait it out until the thing was non-functional, like broke off completely, and then I'd have to have some horrible, expensive surgery to get a permanent tooth implant. I shudder. But no, for now, the nice dentist is going to clip off the arm, adhere what's left of the arm to my tooth, and (hopefully) stave off the aforementioned Implant Horror for several years to come. All for just $47.
5. The tooth-shaped goodie bag filled with a toothbrush, floss threaders, travel-sized floss, and travel-sized toothpaste for sensitive teeth. Really, it's the very least they can give you after inflicting pain on both your mouth and your wallet. And what can I say, I like goodie bags. And overall I still really hate the dentist. I am, actually, a child.

SouthernEdge of the Sequoias, by M Arrreeebba

Wow, I never thought I'd get this footage loaded. Er, pictures. The woods were an idyllic time, utterly devoid of conflict. All challenges such as building fires, rigging tents, and cooking meals were done with an unparalleled ease. One skirmish did arise in regards to mom contaminating the drinking water with gross tasting tap water which nearly crippled the last hour of the trip until we got to Bakersfield and I could get a diet pepsi. Also she didn't believe me when I said that there was bear "skat" surrounding our campsite, but she contends it was healthy skepticism to her daughter who knows everything and is always right. Of course the park ranger set her straight.
I can best describe us as a mostly well oiled machine. We kept our cores warm, despite various degrees of inclement weather, read a book, had movie night each night, and "studied" in the car when we wanted to warm up a little bit and didn't want to waste firewood. I do recall at one point falling unconscious in the car but then mom woke me up and it was time for dinner. So everything was okay. We did make the unfortunate mistake of sleeping slope down in the tent the first night, and i kept waking up thinking, oh god i'm in a tomb! but then reasoned at myself to shut up and go back to sleep. The next night we switched and I was no longer the panic stricken one. Which is all that really matters.
There was occasional trepidation that we might get eaten by bears or at the very least surprise one on our way to the bathroom and it was so dark that we couldn't see the hands (anyone's really) in front of our face. Though I will not regret my anti-light-pollution stance. Due to the bears however we didn't stray across the stream to the boggy meadow to the otherside of the slope...
Below: We were camping just to the left of Johnsondale, which is sort of to the right of the orangish stain in the middle of the map there. I mightve reconsidered my daily activities had I known we were so close to a casino. Nevertheless,
Penelope thinks that I need conflict, but I assert that, such a mell0w trip full of pleasantness needs action. I was very much the girl in the country, who takes daily constitutionals and nothing whatever unpleasant ever happens to her- and yet, ultimately longs for country dances, and perhaps a good game of croquet or archery... wouldn't you? I mean I relax at work all the time. I crave adventure... but we are pretty cute and awesome regardless. Enjoy.