Dear hopelessly tacky mini-lemon topiary that I purchased at Home Goods last week,I like you. I like you a lot.
You're tacky, and everyone knows it. Even me. And I bought you anyway, because truly, you fit in perfect with my grand scheme. I felt tragically compelled in the New Year to decorate with a) bright yellow and b) fake fruit. And there you were on the shelf at the store, a veritable ball of sunshine, and for a price so cheap. You're fabulous. Don't let anyone give you shit.
Besides, you can't be any tackier than those cone-shaped topiary-thingies Martha Stewart was making last week with a hot glue gun and some mini candy bars.
Love,
Penelope, your biggest fan
